No AI for me. What you read is all me for good or bad.

Posted on January 10, 2026 by authorpaulhayden

About ten years ago, I was asked to present my children’s book Byron The Lonely Christmas Tree during the annual Holiday author even at the Press Club of Atlanta.

While speaking with some of the other authors at the event, for the first time I came to learn that some of those writers were ghost writers for well-known Authors. Prior to that time, I had assumed that all authors wrote all of their own content in their books.

It seemed like all those authors did was come up with the idea for their novel, wrote an outline and character descriptions then leave most if not all of the other writing to their ghost writers. At least, by that time, those ghost writers were finally given by-lines so anyone reading the book knew they were involved in the process.

I had previously wondered how any author could put out so many novels in such a short period of time as to do so properly takes a great deal of time, thought and effort. I know I couldn’t. Yet with the help of ghost writers, it sure seemed possible.

I don’t know about you, but I certainly am not interested in reading novels that weren’t the complete works of the author and as such, I promise not to put anything out under my name that is not all me for good or bad.

Now with the presence of AI technology, it’s easy for someone to come up with an idea for a story, create an outline and a list of characters then let AI do the rest. I’m certainly not excited over reading something that is created and written by a machine as it seemingly takes the heart and soul out of the story.

So whether or not anyone likes my novels, personal stories, poems or Children’s books, at least it’s all me. I promise and you can count on it.

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Is Cruelty The Point?

Posted on January 10, 2026 by authorpaulhayden

Based on what I have seen and heard from the current administration, it does seem that cruelty is the point.

Whether it be the elimination of programs and services especially for the poor and under-served, the desire to eliminate Obamacare, the vilification of transgender youths and the LGBTQ community, immigrants and minorities, the elimination in many states of abortion rights and other women’s rights, the sinking of ships in the high seas as well as the desire to take over land masses and countries and so on and so forth, it sure seems like cruelty, vindictiveness, retribution, power and greed are the point.

I know there have been periods of time like this throughout history, but the hope would be that we as a society have learned from those dark periods and have moved beyond those times and started to follow what Christ taught us and embrace all peoples.

Of late, what has been going on with immigration crack downs, ICE raids and profiling of brown and black individuals, for me, is too much to stomach.

The reports say that over 92% of those detained, jailed, deported and beaten have no criminal record and have been contributing to society. Many are even citizens, children and former military. Some have even been shot and killed. And for what reason? Because they don’t speak and look like “true Americans” are supposed to look and sound.

The latest incident in Minnesota of the shooting death of Mrs. Good by an ICE agent showed me that at least in the mind of the agent who shot and killed her that cruelty seemed to be the point. How can you cause, either willingly or even out of supposed fear, the death of an individual and the call them a stupid bitch nor even let a doctor try to give the person aid while telling them I don’t care.

Where is the humanity in that?

I am glad to see that the majority of people don’t support such actions and are protesting against it despite placing themselves in danger.

Bottom line we can be better than these individuals and we must be better than this or our society will end up like things were under Hitler and other horrible regimes throughout history.

That is my wish.

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We Can Make You…..

Posted on December 7, 2025 by authorpaulhayden

After completing college, something I finally accomplished while serving in the Air Force, our family moved from Omaha back to Charlotte, North Carilina where I started my career.

While living in Charlotte we had some friends who were engaged to be married. It turned out that the bride to BE’s mother and father were well connected within the Republican party in North Carolina and friends with the then Governor.

When our friends married, we were invited to attend the wedding along with a number of the movers and shakers from both the local and state bodies of the Republican Party.

During the post ceremonial party, I ended up un a discussion with a number of those individuals. When asked about myself I told them I was a recent graduate of Creighton University and currently working for a regional Insurance Carrier as a surety bond underwriter and territorial representative. When asked about my political affiliation I indicated I was a republican and had been a member of the Young Republican Club while attending college.

When I finished, one of the gentlemen smiled, patted me on the back and said, “That’s great to hear. We could certainly use a sharp individual like you to run for state or local office”.

At first, I was most flattered over the compliment and as such asked him to tell me more about it.

He smiled and said, “That’s great to hear. If you will allow us to then we can make you into just the right candidate and guarantee your rise to the top”.

His comment took me aback and caused me to question his motives and what it might cost me if I allowed them to take control of my future. After thinking it through I responded saying, “Thanks for the offer but I don’t want to be made and then have to be indebted to you all”.

The men’s faces then turned to frowns as they replied saying they were sorry to hear that. They then walked away.

The conversation was most disturbing as here to fore I had naively believed that most people went into politics for the right reason, kind of like the movie “Mr. Smith Goes to Washington”.

What I came to believe they were saying was, we are the ones who are pulling the strings from behind the scenes and if you play along with what we want you to do and say then we will help you to get elected but then you will owe us your allegiance.

I walked away from that discussion with a much different view of the political process and much more open eyed than I was beforehand. It was then that I changed my affiliation to Independent which I have continued to this day.

While I still hope and believe that most people who enter politics do so for the right reason, which is to serve their country and their constituents, I am also quite certain based on what I have seen of late, that so many have either sold out to the likes of those whom I met during our friend’s wedding or who are serving for the wrong reasons be it for power of personal gain.

I know that as for myself, If I had sold out, I would not have been able to look in the mirror or been able to live with myself and my family and friends.

It then makes me wonder how those who have sold out are able to do the same.

The only way I think they can Is if they have completely lost their moral compass, scared to challenge authority and have somehow convinced themselves that they needed to do what they did for one reason or another.

At various junctures in my life and career I have been asked to compromise my beliefs, morals and convictions for the sake of “the Company” or my career.

Thankfully, by the grace of God, I always decided to take the high road and refused to do the dishonest thing I was asked to do, pushed back against the demands of the company or unsavory boss, and supported those who were my co-workers and customers.

Even though it cost me financially, and in the end my career, I have no regrets. Somehow, I survived despite the pain it caused me and my family. It helped me to realize that even if it costs someone by standing up to authority, it is much better than to have sold one’s soul.

My hope and prayer then is that, especially during this time of strife in our country as well as the world, that more politicians, business leaders and individuals will find their moral compass and say no to those who believe they can “make them into what they want for their purposes”.

Thanks for checking in this week and I welcome any and all feedback and suggestions you have. Paul

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Unlawful Orders and The Statue of Liberty (a combo deal)

Posted on December 1, 2025 by authorpaulhayden

There has been a great deal of press of late regarding the ad several former military members of congress recently released which, in part, stated that military personnel should refuse unlawful orders.

Having served in the military with the Air Force I remember taking such an oath when I first arrived in San Antonio for basic training. I took that oath to heart.

The year I went in was 1970 when the Vietnam War was still going on. I really didn’t want to serve as I was recently married and my wife was pregnant with our first child.

I actually should not have had to serve as I had recently suffered a bout with pleurisy and as such should have received a three-year deferment. Yet when I went to visit my doctor in North Carolina so he could give me a report to give to my draft board he refused saying “my son recently died while serving in Vietnam and there is no way I’m going to let some no-account Yankee (I grew up in NY) hippie (I really wasn’t one) get out of serving”. He then tore-up my medical records and threw them in the trash.

Not long afterwards my draft board in NY was burned and knowing I had a low draft number and coming from a small town I figured I would soon receive my orders. As such I ran down to the closest Air Force recruiting station and signed up. I was fortunate I had done so because several days later i received my draft notice.

When I went for my physical, I noticed that those who had not singed up for either the AF, Navy or Coast Guard were alternately placed in line for either the Army or Marines.

I’m glad I was not forced to serve in either one of those branches as I knew that should I have to shoot another human being I would never be able to live with it. One thing I was certain of was that had they asked me to kill innocent civilians as so many were asked to do, something that should be considered an unlawful order, I would have refused to do so. I am certain if I had I most likely would have been either shot, court-martialed or given a dishonorable discharge for having refused.

Fortunately, I didn’t have to make that choice like so many others were forced to.

Sadly, of late many military personnel, ICE agents and Border Control agents have seemingly been asked to follow orders that appear to be unlawful. Whether it be bombing boats and killing individuals where it isn’t even certain if they are smuggling drugs and without due process, abducting immigrants and even US citizens off of the streets due largely to their nationality, detaining them and often deporting them without due process there seems to be no push back and refusal which there should be.

After all, we are talking about our fellow human beings who deserve, life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness like all people of God and our country.

This brings me to the Statue of Liberty part of my story as it appears to me to relate to the above.

I recently, for the who know how many times, watched the movie Ghostbusters II. In order to get the citizens of New York City to find their positive spirit the Ghostbusters needed a symbol of all that is good to help defeat the evil Vigo the Carpathian.

They chose the Statue of Liberty as that symbol of which the motto is, “give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to be free. The wretched refuse to your teeming shores. Send these the homeless, tempest-tossed to me. Lift my lamp beside the golden door”.

It seems like we have somehow forgotten this motto that throughout our history has brought to our country immigrants for every land who helped make this country great.

Hopefully we can recapture that welcoming feeling or we are going to lose ourselves in the process and won’t be the country we should be which has been a beacon to the world which so many respected and wanted to be a part of.

Thanks for checking in this week. Paul (the nonconformist)

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What’s 988?

Posted on November 23, 2025 by authorpaulhayden

Earlier this year I spent some time volunteering with the United Way’s NEFL 988 Suicide Hotline department as a storyteller.

Prior to my involvement with the team, I had not heard of the 988 national Suicide Hotline Program and apparently based on my discussions with others it seems like a lot of other people hadn’t either. It’s a shame as the work that is done by those who work within the program is a vital and much needed resource.

After listening to the stories told by the 988 hotline call center specialists during our weekly observation meetings, taking the necessary online certification courses, attending the Zero Suicide Jax Summit which was attended by the 988 staff as well as leaders of the various organizations who dedicate themselves to serve those in crisis, I came to realize just how vital and successful the program is.

I also came to realize just how dedicated, professional and caring the call center specialists, as well as those who lead them, are and how they are always looking to improve on the quality of their work as well as the outcomes of those calls.

And yes, they stay quite busy. Based on the ever-growing need as people struggle with all of the challenges of the day be it, substance abuse, abuse in general, loss of home, income, jobs, benefits, gambling addiction, mental health disorders, loss of loved ones, or simply due to the struggles of life, each month the number of calls continues to increase. Despite that increase the call center professionals do everything within their power to make sure no call goes unanswered.

What has been quite surprising and concerning to me is how many people in the medical/health industry as well as the population in general don’t know about the program. hopefully that will change as if those organizations make it part of their training. After all, they are often the front line of defense with the people who come to them for help.

So please pass the word and if you or someone you know, or love, needs help I know you and them will be in good hands if you call the 988 Suicide Hotline no matter where you might live.

With thoughts and prayers, respectfully submitted, Paul Hayden

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Garages-What are they good for?

Posted on November 11, 2025 by authorpaulhayden

The dictionary definition of a garage is a building used to house vehicles and automobiles. But it seems as though many a homeowner must not know that if my neighborhood is an example.

Yes I can see placing tools, a lawnmower, bikes and other items in it but it’s primary purpose should be to house one’s car(s) depending on it’s size.

we didn’t have a garage in our first two homes while living in North Carolina but due to the climate and our ability to afford a home with a garage we did without one. Instead, we built a shed to house all of our tools, lawnmower and bikes.

When we moved to New Hampshire we were fortunate to purchase a home that had a two-car garage which was great due to the cold weather and snowy and icy conditions. I recalled our time living in Nebraska and the mountains of Virginia where we didn’t have one where I often had to clean the snow and ice off of and around the cars which wasn’t much fun at all.

As such I wasn’t about to fill it with so much stuff that we couldn’t fit the cars in it and never have since.

Our neighborhood here in Jacksonville, all of the homes have garages, mostly two car and some three car ones. we also have ample parking available in our driveways. as such one would think there wouldn’t be much need to park one’s car(s) in the street.

Yet it seems like more than not most of our neighbors do. As such, a drive through our neighborhood is quite an adventure. not only do people park their cars in the street but often directly across from one another. This makes it difficult to even squeeze a regular size car between them let alone a delivery truck, school bus or garbage truck.

One drives along until they come upon a parked vehicle and then have to stop so that the approaching vehicle can get by.

I’ve driven past homes where the garage doors are open and I will notice garages full to the brim, top to bottom with things. With some there is only a small walk through to get to the inside door. Who in the world needs so much stuff and are more and more people becoming hoarders?

Recently I helped a neighbor clean out boxes he accumulated in his garage that is packed to the ceiling with stuff. while I was there, he had to also get to his water heater because he was having issues with it. It ended up taking us close to an hour to clear out an isle to get to it.

I recently spoke with our A/C repairman about issues they have with trying to repair and or replace such equipment in such homes. He indicated there were more such garages than one would imagine.

There also many neighbors who now use their garages as an additional room. As such there is no way they can park a vehicle in it.

My idea of keeping stuff is that if it’s going to stay in a bin or such in my garage for an extended period of time and not otherwise useful now or in the future then I need to either sell or donate it.

Sadly, many people seem to become emotionally attached to their stuff and can’t think of parting with it no matter the reason. As a result, they are forced to leave their cars out on the street where the elements can degrade it or a wayward driver ends up running into it.

Hopefully this trend will reverse itself and we can get back to letting our garages perform the task they were intended to do.

If so, it certainly would make a drive along our streets a much more pleasant one.

Thanks for checking in this week and hope you have a great one.

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The Epstein Affect

Posted on October 26, 2025 by authorpaulhayden

In 2002 while on a business trip to the New York City area I picked up a copy of a local newspaper and started to read it. Something in the advertisement section caught my eye.

From what I recall the heading of the add read “Sugar Daddies Wanted”. It followed with a line that read something like, your successful and you’ve worked hard so you deserve to have a sugar baby at your disposal. In it there was a toll-free number to call to get hooked up.

I could barely believe what I was reading disturbed me especially as we had three daughters at the time that were sugar baby age.

Regarding Jeffrey Epstein and the men who trafficked, molested and raped all of those innocent young women and girls I’m sure they all believed that they deserved to have a sugar baby at their disposal even if it was against those young women’s will.

Sadly, such treatment of women is nothing new. I know something about it because my own father besides having call girls brought into his office in NYC also raped and molested my four sisters, two of which lived with us and two from previous marriages one of which lived with us for a brief period of time prior to her leaving after he attacked her.

Sadly, I did not become aware of their abuse at his hands until long after his death as it was all kept as a dirty family secret by him, my mother and sisters who were afraid to speak up or in my mother’s case in order to protect “the family’s good name”.

My half-sister admitted about ten years ago that when she returned home to live with her aunt after leaving our home all those years ago that she informed her of what happened. Sadly, the response she received was, we can’t report this to the authorities or your father will lose his job and the family will lose their source of income.

Were my sisters lives negatively impacted by what happened to them? They most certainly were just as the survivors of the Epstein events have been.

The worst part of it all is that all so often as it has been with so many of the women and young girls who suffered at the hands of those men as well as young boys and men who also suffered such abuse, a majority of those crimes have gone unpunished.

There has been a great deal of news reports of the survivors speaking out and demanding the Epstein files be released. I hope they are so those who committed those atrocities, many of whom are most likely wealthy and prominent leaders of industry and politics so the survivors can finally get justice. hopefully with it change in how women are treated in the future.

Recently, a news anchor referred to such men as being misguided. While I respect her as a journalist, I must disagree with her label of them. In truth they are in a word evil. So are those who protect those men and try to discredit those who call them out.

Hopefully, one day justice will be served for those survivors and those “Sugar Daddies” will be forced to change their ways.

Thanks for checking in. Paul

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I’ve Seen Enough To Know I’ve Seen Too Much

Posted on October 16, 2025 by authorpaulhayden

I’ve been on this planet for over seventy years and have seen a great deal of things that were truly disturbing.

I grew up in a household with an alcoholic and bigoted father who beat and berated his son and molested and raped his daughters and with a self-absorbed mother who turned a blind eye to the abuse and later tried to hide the truth of what happened at all costs to “save the family’s good name”.

I lived through the civil rights movement where innocent black citizens were shot, hung and denied their rights and was horrified over the shooting of Reverend Martin Luther King.

I was in college at the time and during a basketball game between our catholic college in North Carolina and a Christain college in South Carolina, where I along with some fellow students were forced to help defend our black basketball players who were attacked by the other colleges players and students while the referees stood by and watched. Sadly, instead of supporting and congratulating us for our actions they instead placed us on probation.

While at the same college some of my friends and I worked as waiters at a local restaurant. Om our first day at work one of the local waiters warned us to watch our backs as many who worked there were members of the KKK who in addition to blacks hated Catholics just as much.

I also lived through the assassinations of JFK and RFK.

During the Vietnam era I served in the USAF and was safe at home but lost many a friend and fellow student who died during the conflict.

I’ve worked for a number of horrible bosses who acted like kings and who tried to get me to compromise my principals and cheat my customers. Each time I resisted they found ways to punish me. in the end my resisting them cost me my career and financial stability.

I lived through the events of 9/11 where many a friend and customer were negatively affected or died during those events. I was in NY that morning and will never forget the horror of that day.

I was horrified over the killing of George Floyd as well as other innocent blacks and the Black Lives Matter movement where peaceful protesters were treated so poorly.

I’ve been betrayed by friends, family and customers whom I have loved and supported.

But what I’ve seen just in these last few months makes me finally feel like I’ve seen too much. whether it be ICE raids on innocent people just because of how they look or how they speak, the effects of the DOGE cuts, retributions, the roll-back of rights for women, minorities, native Americans, LGBTQ people, the abuse of power, the weaponization of the courts and the military as well as the national guard against our own citizens, the apparent move towards a dictatorial form of government, the ending of Environmental protections, and much, much more, it’s simply too much to bear and i need to call it out.

In my lifetime I’ve been friends and classmates with people of every race, religion, sexual preference, nationality and political persuasion. I’ve seen good in every one of them.

Sure there are bad apples in every case but in the end we are all equal and deserving of the life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness and we do not need a KING to tell us otherwise.

Thanks for checking in and be good to one another.

Mahalo, Paul

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The Angels Among Us

Posted on October 5, 2025 by authorpaulhayden

Angels can come in many forms both Biblical as well as in the day-to-day people we come in contact with. The common denominator seemingly is that they all are here to protect us and/or enrich our lives.

In the context of the United Way, they are the 988 suicide hotline and 211 hotline counselors that support them as well as the communities they serve. Other angels are made up of the 911 agencies and other police, firemen, paramedics and those who actively respond to those in crisis.

Seemingly not as noticeable, yet of no less value are the day-to-day angels we meet in our daily lives. They are the ones who are the caregivers and those who volunteer their time, talents and energy to various causes or work for organizations that support and enrich society not for money or gain but simply because they have the desire to help and enrich the lives of their fellow man and all of God’s creatures as well as the environment.

In thinking of this topic, several recent encounters come to mind.

I recently had the pleasure of sharing with an elderly gentleman of color while we were waiting for our orders at a local Burger King Restaurant. During our conversation he asked me about myself. I indicated I was recently retired but was about to undertake the role of storyteller for the United Way of NEFL’s 988 Suicide Hotline unit.

The gentleman indicated he was well aware of the 988 Hotline as he was a mentor for young men (currently fourteen) many of whom struggled with one thing or another. He told me that one such young man who is now in his thirties, whom he had been mentoring for some time had a history of dealing with an acute anxiety disorder as well as a history of substance abuse and a difficult upbringing.

he added that at one point, in a state of despair, the young man indicated that he was considering committing suicide. After patiently and supportively engaging with the young man he asked, “If you follow through with your plan then how do you think it will affect your family and friends”? The young man responded saying “I’m sure they will get over it”. “Are you certain of that”, the mentor asked.

After some thought the young man replied, “I’m not sor sure of that now that I think about it”.

The elderly gentleman continued to mentor and encourage the young man who has not only begun to heal but is now thriving to the point where he is in the process of developing video promotional programs. had this angel not shown the care, love and support towards the young man his story could have ended up as a tragedy.

I have a friend in our neighborhood whom i have come to know, love and respect from our long walks and conversations. He has always struck me as not only a good father, family man and neighbor but also someone of deep compassion.

During a recent community yard sale, amongst other items, I placed most of my baseball card collection, which was quite extensive, up for sale. My friend ended up purchasing the entirety for what amounted to a goodly sum of money. I assumed he purchased it for his and his family’s enjoyment and as an investment.

During a future walk I asked my friend if he and his family were enjoying looking through the collection. I was both shocked and pleased when he responded saying, “No, I didn’t purchase the cards for myself but instead did so for a former mentor and friend who was recently diagnosed with terminal cancer. I knew he loves baseball and used to collect cards and though it might give him some joy and take his mind off of his problems”.

The above kinds of selfless acts are what I believe demonstrate that there truly are angels among us who present themselves in our daily lives and who’s joy in life is derived simply by knowing that they are helping to enrich the lives of others. These angels are out there and around us all We just need to take the time to look for them.

Hopefully their acts of kindness with help us to fine the angel within us.

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A new Start

Posted on October 3, 2025 by authorpaulhayden

A great deal has changed since my last post in 2017. Our country has seen the changes in it’s leadership, there has been an insurrection and we have become more divided as a nation. this has spurred me to try and do my little part to spread positive messages via any platform available to me. I believe there is a need for storytelling that lifts ones spirit as there is so much negative dialog in the world especially on social networks. One thing I haven’t changed is that even though it may hurt my being able to attract a larger audience I choose not to be on any platforms other that this one.

From a personal standpoint, over the past several years I’ve combated prostate cancer and had a number of other operations which thankfully I am recovering from. I’ve decided to finally give up surfing after sixty wonderful years of doing so. Yes it’s partially due to age and illnesses but sadly mostly due to the degradation of our oceans as I seemingly get ill after most sessions.

Several years ago I self-published via Amazon Kindle, my personal story “Chicken of The Sea, The Golden Years”, a follow up to my original personal story “Chicken of the Sea”. It’s about how, despite ones advancing in age that you can overcome it’s affects as well as other obstacles one can thrive and realize their full potential.

I plan to author at least one blog per week and hopefully those stories will be both thought provoking, informative, uplifting and enjoyable.

Thanks for checking in and I would love any feedback you have.

mahalo, Paul

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