This is a site of uplifting and thought provoking posts

I’ve believed for quite some time that surfing literally saved my life. having grown up in a highly dysfunctional and sometimes violent home situation, I developed a great many phobias and a very low self esteem.

I have also come to believe God gave me surfing to help me cope with my issues and to give me an inner strength and peace I had here-to-fore not possessed. It has also given me a sense of purpose and has led me to take better care of my body, mind and soul. A doctor once went as far as telling me that, with all the trauma I endured as a child and to a certain degree as an adult, I most likely would have died at an early from the toll it took on my body.

I guess that is why I have been so committed over the years to giving back to the sport. Whether it be through volunteering at surf clinics, passing on the stoke of surfing to almost everyone I meet, volunteering through the Surfrider Foundation on issues like beach cleanups, plastics issues, Ocean friendly gardening or working with school groups to help with their education on the issues, I feel it is my responsibility and debt to help preserve our oceans for future generations.

When I was in industry I also felt the same degree of gratitude for the ability to earn a good living to help take care of my family and therefore I taught industry classes and seminars for years with no additional compensation.

I don’t say this to pat myself on the back. To the contrary, I simply feel blessed to be able to have enjoyed the things I have  and give back simply because I feel it’s the right thing to do.

My point instead is, as with anything we are blessed to be able to enjoy whether it be sport, art, work, writing, you name it, give of yourself in any way you can to show your gratitude for the blessings you’ve been given and pay it forward. If we all did that we’d certainly all be a lot happier and the world and our environment a lot better off.

Thanks for checking in and see you next week. Aloha, Paul

 Have you ever gone on a Surfing Safari or any spur of the moment trip for that matter? I have and if you’re like me you probably didn’t do a great deal of planning for it other than to have a general idea of where you wanted to go. As a result, the trip most likely unfolded on it’s own for the most part.

In my personal story, “Chicken of The Sea” I recount such a trip I took with my buddies Eddie and Ricky and one other guy who we had to sneak out of his house because his parents didn’t give him permission to go.

We ended up in The Hamptons of Long Island where we spent the entire week sleeping in my old car and letting the days take care of themselves. On our first day, with a tropical storm off the coast, we were presented with a massive swell that was so big that we dared not paddle out at Ponquague Beach and instead had to find a channel to surf where the waves were more manageable.

We surfed near the Shinnecock Inlet the entire week in great waves, ran out of money, were taken in by a very kind restaurant owner who gave us free food, Ricky and Eddie were asked to join a local surf team (I wished I had but honestly was not as good as them), the other kids mom found us, read us the riot act and took her son home, and when I got home my parents grounded me for the rest of the summer.

Would I have changed any of it? The answer would be an emphatic no (except for the grounding part). If we had planned it all out we probably would not have enjoyed all of the experiences we had and I wouldn’t have memories of one of the greatest adventures of my life.

For me my writing is much like that Surfing Safari. When I start I have an idea of the point I want to make and generally where I am  going but other than that I simply jump in and let my crazy little mind take me wherever it wants.

When writing “Chicken of The Sea” I at least had my memories to guide me but while writing my novel “The Nonconformist” I simply went along for the ride and let both my imagination along with some life events take me where they may. I am still amazed at where my mind took me and how I managed to pull together all of those ideas, events and characters and how I finally came to a conclusion and made the points I wanted to make.

I am pretty much doing the same thing with my current novel and hope the formula works for me again (only the reader though can be the real judge of that I realize).

I’m not sure that if I had carefully planned everything that I would have been able to pull it off. I probably would have obsessed over every line and have bogged down in the details and maybe even given up entirely. One thing is for certain, I certainly wouldn’t have had as much fun during the adventure.

So if  you are planning going on a Surfing Safari of your own or writing, let the adventure take you where it may and  enjoy the trip.

Thanks for checking in and if you like my blog, like it and also tell your friends and share your thoughts and ideas with me.

Aloha and see you again next week, Paul

 I’ve been told that part of the problem with writing novels that have a surfing theme is that few surfers really read much.

They believe they would rather look at pictures and videos of surfing and only read the captions and short stories that go along with the photos they see in the surfing magazines.

As a writer and surfer I sure hope that’s not true or I’m screwed.

Although my novel The Nonconformist has a deep storyline, is more about someone who just happens to surf and should hopefully appeal to a much wider audience that just surfers, at the same time in most peoples minds it is a surfing story.

So if we take seriously the allegation that surfers don’t read then reading my novel which approaches 450 pages would be a daunting task for any surfer despite their interest in it.

And if that were also true then why on earth am I writing a follow up novel to The Nonconformist which though only expected to be around 250 pages would still be a gargantuan task for most surfers?

My hope and belief is that those people have misjudged us surfers and we aren’t the bunch of water clogged, brain dead, drug induced airheads they paint us out to be. I believe and hope that there are tons of enlightened surfers out there who enjoy a good read and who want to discover the meaning of life.

I suppose only time will tell and I pray I’m right about surfers or I will continue to remain the happy yet starving writer I am.

But if I’m wrong them hopefully the screenplay version of my novel will someday soon become a video or movie that those surfers will want to see.

Either way though I’m going to continue to write about the sport I love and the things I care  deeply about and follow my dreams as I hope you all will follow yours despite the obstacles.

Thanks for dropping in and please check out my books and if you like them please spread the word to your surfing and non-surfer friends and give me your feedback.

Aloha, Paul

 As far as overcoming fears is concerned, I know what I’m talking about. When I was young I had tons of them and there are some I still retain all these years later. One of my biggest fears was of swimming in the ocean and drowning. As I explained in my personal story “Chicken of the Sea”, I almost drowned when I was young while swimming at Atlantic City, NJ. For years after moving to Long Island I refused to go into the ocean and thus I earned the moniker chicken of the sea from my friends.

It wasn’t until I was a Junior in High School that my friends finally convinced me to try surfing. While I only rode the board in a prone position that day it changed everything for me. The sport gave me a sense of courage and self esteem I hadn’t thought possible. But boy did I miss a lot of fun before that time because of giving into my fears.

To this day, I still have self doubts about my abilities and constantly am faced with trying to overcome my fears. Even though I am a certified ski and snowboard professional instructor, whenever I travel to a new mountain I get myself all psyched out about being able to handle the black diamond slopes.

And even though I am a professional surfing instructor and former competitive surfer I still get psyched out whenever a huge swell is in the water or I travel to a new surf spot. I remember the first time I surfed in Hawaii I nearly freaked out after catching my first wave and looking down and seeing all of the coral and sea urchins below me that looked like they were inches below the bottom due to the crystal clear water.

Fortunately I have always had the intestinal fortitude to overcome those fears and take on the challenge. I have honestly never (as yet) backed down from any swell, mountain or trail and have surfed at venues throughout the US and Hawaii. I have also attempted rails and pro level jumps and rode through woods on my snowboard.

Fortunately I have this innate ability to not let my fears get the best of me but boy have I wasted a lot of energy fretting over it in advance.

It seems to me that tackling new and challenging things is actually very liberating and rewarding. When I lost my job in industry I was devastated and wondered what I would do next and how I would survive financially but in actuality it freed me to write and work on my art, surf more and do volunteer activities and somehow through it all we have survived and I am happier than ever.

There is so much I would never have experienced if I had given into my fears so don’t let yours get the better of you and keep you from having fun and learning new things.

Thanks for checking in. Aloha, Paul

 I know setting goals and having a destination is important. If we didn’t we might just drift aimlessly through life with no sense of direction. And I’m not talking about taking a trip because sometimes it’s fun to just strike out and let the wind and our imagination take us wherever it will.

But sometimes we can become so focused on the destination or fulfilling our goals that we don’t enjoy the journey. I know through my own life experiences that our circumstances can change in an instant and all of the planning and goal setting that we have done won’t change it one iota. When it does we have to adjust and set new goals and directions.

The thing that is good about having direction and a set of goals is that they drastically increase our chances of reaching our potential and goals. I also believe that it is good to keep on persevering despite obstacles to achieve those things that are most important to us.

A case in point is with my new novel “The Nonconformist”. I  believe deeply that it would make a great movie and have been working to that end  for the past three years. I have even gotten as far as to have producers seriously consider it but as of yet it’s still not a done deal. While I am not yet about to give up on that goal/dream I have to accept the fact that no matter how hard I pursue that dream it might not happen.

As tough as that might be, I know the journey has been a good one and I need to treasure what I have accomplished.

I started writing my first book “Chicken of The Sea”, my personal story, in 2002 while still working in industry. I honestly never considered myself as a real author at the time but felt the story burning in me. The only reason I considered writing “The Nonconformist” was because my publisher said they weren’t interested in publishing something with an author who was only going to write one book.

Just in case they quizzed me on what other book(s) I was going to write I did an outline for the novel and basically outlined where it would start and where it would end. The more I thought about it though the more potential I thought it had so I started writing in earnest.

I wrote wherever and whenever I could. After getting deep into the novel I lost my job in industry. When I did all of our financial goals went out the window and I wondered where I would go next in life. Fortunately the answer was right in front of me. Losing my job allowed me to really pay attention to my novel, get back into painting and crafting, volunteering and surfing which were actually the things I loved doing the most and had wanted to do all along but didn’t have the time for while working.

Now, despite being financially challenged I find myself enjoying my journey a lot more than ever before. I honestly have no idea how I was able to write a 450 page novel and how my mind took me to the places it did. It honestly was a fun process and in that process I became a much better writer and storyteller.

During the process of trying to get “The Nonconformist” made into a movie, one of the potential producers encouraged me to write the screenplay version myself. To be honest, I had no idea as to how to go about writing a screenplay and was intimidated over how to turn a 450 page novel into a 100 minute screenplay.

Somehow once I opened my mind to the possibilities and dove into it I actually had fun, learned a lot about myself and think I did a pretty good job with it. By doing so I also came up with the idea for a follow up novel that I am almost finished writing the first draft of.

The truth is, if I had gotten so tied up with following my original path I would never have enjoyed my current journey and whether or not my movie ever gets made I know I’ve been successful and have had a fun journey.

From a surfing perspective I relate the experience to riding a wave. If someone sees a wave coming and decides what he or she wants to do on it in advance, they will most likely mess it up completely and not enjoy the ride or end up doing what they wanted to do on it in the first place. Each wave is different and I find it’s best to take what the wave gives you thus making the journey a lot more fun.

So I guess what I’m saying is don’t get so focused on your destination that you end up not enjoying your journey.

Aloha and thanks for dropping in. Paul

One of the things I like best is working with the younger generation. Whether it be through teaching them surfing or snowboarding, teaching them about the environment or just watching them do what they do, I simply just like being around them and helping them along their path through life. As a side benefit they help keep me centered and feeling young.

I know a lot of people are always putting down the younger generation by either saying they are lazy or going to ruin the world but I don’t agree with their assumption at all. As a matter of fact I truly believe most of them do get it and are our best hope for the future.

Unfortunately, as a child I wasn’t encouraged by my parents and it took me years to find my self worth so I have always felt it was important to try and encourage both children and adults to believe in themselves and follow their dreams.

This past week I was invited by a the science teacher at a local middle school to give an ocean friendly garden environmental presentation to three of her classes that was created by the Surfrider Foundation of which I am a local chairman. I had done the same this past year but still worried about being able to deliver a message and information they could both learn from and use in their current lives.

I shouldn’t have worried. Not only did the students get the message but asked very thoughtful and intelligent questions and were by and large very much engaged. To my surprise, many of the students asked how they could become further involved with Ocean Friendly Gardening and how they could learn more about it. In the end, about twenty students signed a sheet giving their names and parents contact information. As a result, I am now working with the OFG national director to come up with a program that can be used within the school, and hopefully other schools. The goal is to show them how, through Ocean Friendly Gardening they can,  in their own yards decrease or eliminate the use of pesticides, water and fertilizer by using native plants, decreasing the amount of grassy areas in their yards while also reducing runoff to further help the environment and local rivers and ocean. In addition they should also realize a savings in monetary terms and make their yards more inviting to animals and insects.

This past fall I was involved at the same school with helping create a butterfly garden which the students and the art teacher participated in. Those students were very much engaged in the project and learned quite a deal from it. This spring our OFG committee is working with a local elementary school to put in a full blown OFG that they will use as a learning environment for the students and a place the entire community can enjoy. This particular school has a science curriculum that is so advanced it could be used in universities and one I wish I could have participated in when I was younger.

My point here is that I feel our future is in good hands with this younger generation. They truly believe they can make a difference and create change. These are the people who will be running our future businesses and corporations and hopefully governments. My hope and belief is that they will do it in a much more environmentally, compassionate and  inclusive manner. We can help them through encouragement and support.

Thanks for tuning in and please send me comments and suggestion, like my site and share it with your friends. Aloha, Paul

 The concept of nonconformity or being a nonconformist first arose relative to persons who did not conform with the principals of the Anglican Church. These days, a nonconformist is anyone who does not conform with the norms of society.

When I think about it, I find it hard to put my finger on the concept of what is considered the norm and who determines it. What’s considered normal in one society isn’t necessarily so in another or from one generation or another. At any rate most societies have established norms that people tend to conform to or are at least expected to and people tend to label those that don’t as nonconformists.

I remember growing up I had a difficult time conforming to the norms expected by my patents and the establishment and was considered a trouble maker. It wasn’t so much that I didn’t want to fit in or be an outcast but instead just didn’t believe in all they were telling me nor could relate to their norms. In school I was never one to be in a clique or sit with or hang out with the same people all of the time. I liked all kinds of people from different backgrounds and social status. I know this kept me from being invited to some parties and events.

When I got into the workforce I went to work in an industry that was very stiff and conservative. While I liked the work I did and committed myself to be the best I could at it, I always seemed to find myself at odds with the establishment because I was always looking for new ways of doing things and played outside of the box. I know it cost me some jobs and advancement. To be honest I never cared about rising to the top or that much about the money anyway.

Being a surfert in and of itself runs against the grain of many of societies norms especially in the business world. It seemed that those who played golf or fished could do it as much as they liked and not get chastised but if you surfed only casually or even with customers then you were considered to be goofing off and not conforming.

Now don’t get me wrong, if everyone refused to conform then the world would most likely fall into chaos. No one would follow any rules and would do whatever they wanted to do and not much would get done. The truth is, not many people are total nonconformists (truth be told, if we were all nonconformists then wouldn’t we be conformists after all) . I know I conform in many ways to much of societies norms and buy into a lot of them. The difference for me is that I choose to be an individualist and not go along with the crowd just because everyone else does. I like people like that and feel they are good for society. It’s what makes us different and interesting.

I thinks surfers by way of what they do are individualistic as a whole and look to find their own balance and rhythm in their lives either by the way they dress, talk, surf or go about their daily lives.

So my advice is to be who you are and don’t blindly buy into the norms others try and pin on you.

Thanks for checking in and let me know what’s on your mind. Aloha, Paul

 Below is the review of the Nonconformist in the march issue of Surfing magazine. I am really stoked about it.

In one way or another, all surfers are non-conformists. Waveriding might not carry the same anti-establishment stigma it did in the 1960’s, but many of us still struggle with the question of pursuing our love of the ocean or tempering it with all the trappings of modern life. Such is the care of Jacksonville’ FL, author Paul Hayden whose new book, The Nonconformist, follows a corporate banker named Jonathan Lewis who reflects on the choices he made in his life: family over freedom, career over true happiness, security over following his dreams.

Deeper issues are also examined: the pressure put on American children of the post-World War II generation to live up to their parents’ expectations. The battlefields of marriage. Sexual assault and emotional shame. The guilt that plagues all of us after loved ones die. Sure there are some cringe-worthy moments in The Nonconformist (like when he tells his wife: “That’s the response I expected from my brave little surfer girl”). And at 441 pages, it’s long by today’s ADD standards. Also, since the book mirrors much of the author’s life (a surfer named Paul turns up at the end of the book and becomes fascinated by Jon’s story), it’s hard to tell where the line between autobiography and fiction dissolves. But the universality of The Nonconformist’s themes will make the book appeal to most surfers. NM

 The following is a brief piece I wrote about a year and a half ago that I hoped would be published but never was. In thinking about it recently I came to realize just how fast technology is growing and how dated this article is in such a short period of time. To be honest I wish the surf was and always would be a place free of such distractions.

Do you need a break from your I-Phone, I-Pad or other hand held device? If so then you might want to hit the surf for several hours of text free fun.

It occurred to me during a recent session that the line-up is about the only place left where you don’t hear rind tones and people don’t clutch their devices in their sweaty palms as they stare into them with blood shot eyes as they read their e-mails or texts and check out facebook posts.

I am certain one day soon they will be there. Heck, the technology already is there to make it happen. Soon wet suits and board shorts will have pockets especially designed for them and surfboards will have sealed compartments for them on their decks.

Once the craze takes off the lineup will be filled with surfers who will be uploading must see video streams of their go pro of their latest ride then checking their facebook site for likes, tweets and then texting friends to tell them about it.

When we get to that point I am sure chaos will rule the lineup. Surfers will run into each other when they hear their ringtone and grab for their device. Tempers will flare, punches will be thrown and what once was a peaceful pastime will become a stressful endeavor.

I, for one, am hoping this scenario does not occur anytime soon and in the interim I will continue to enjoy my time in the cell free surf zone. Please come join me.

Thanks for dropping in to read my posts and I look forward to your comments. Please also share my site with others as it is nice to have the company. Also much thanks for those who have purchased my novel and other books and I hope you enjoy them. Thanks and Aloha, Paul

 I have always heard a lot of griping about locals only and “townies go home” epithets  and while I understand the thought process to a degree it still disturbs me. To a degree, whether we like it or not, we are all at one point or another both (that is unless we never go anywhere). We all travel and when we do we are the townies or outsiders. Sure it’s a pain when we live in paradise and love our little piece of heaven or beach break becomes inundated with tourists but that’s the price we pay for living there. Why do so many surfers want to surf the North Shore or other cool spots or visit other famous landmarks, because the places rock. I remember once while going to college in Nebraska, (yah not the coolest place for a surfer) my wife and I had some really good friends. One evening after watching a report on TV about some disturbance in New York City, they said “it serves them right because all easterners are a bunch of animals anyway”. After saying it they remembered where we were from and said “but we didn’t mean you, you guys are OK”. Even though we knew their remarks came from a bit of ignorance and stereotyping it still hurt. The truth is I am townie at my local beach in Jacksonville. I love the spot I surf at 30th avenue south because I was accepted there right away and the group of surfers there area great. In a way I’m probably considered local. When talking local vs townie the conversation shouldn’t be so much about where someone is from but rather the respect they show to the locals and the way they treat their local environment. I love the beach and try to do my best to keep it healthy and to respect it and the locals. I do beach cleanups of the area on my own and through the local Surfrider Chapter do much more. I also donate my time at Florida Surfing Association events.  I am fortunate to be supported in those activities by many locals and townies alike. As such, I hate it when people come in and trash the place or disrespect it or the locals. Unfortunately, not all locals respect their turf or treat it well. So bottom line, it’s not a good practice to stereotype people and create a negative environment as it only fuels hatred and disrespect. Instead let’s deal with things on an individual basis.

On another note, I have been working hard on my new novel (title is still a secret) that is a bit of a follow up to the nonconformist. I will also soon be posting weekly portions of some of my short stories so stay posted and also I welcome any comments or suggestions on topics. Thanks for tuning in. Aloha, Paul