This is a site of uplifting and thought provoking posts

I’ve been on this planet for over seventy years and have seen a great deal of things that were truly disturbing.

I grew up in a household with an alcoholic and bigoted father who beat and berated his son and molested and raped his daughters and with a self-absorbed mother who turned a blind eye to the abuse and later tried to hide the truth of what happened at all costs to “save the family’s good name”.

I lived through the civil rights movement where innocent black citizens were shot, hung and denied their rights and was horrified over the shooting of Reverend Martin Luther King.

I was in college at the time and during a basketball game between our catholic college in North Carolina and a Christain college in South Carolina, where I along with some fellow students were forced to help defend our black basketball players who were attacked by the other colleges players and students while the referees stood by and watched. Sadly, instead of supporting and congratulating us for our actions they instead placed us on probation.

While at the same college some of my friends and I worked as waiters at a local restaurant. Om our first day at work one of the local waiters warned us to watch our backs as many who worked there were members of the KKK who in addition to blacks hated Catholics just as much.

I also lived through the assassinations of JFK and RFK.

During the Vietnam era I served in the USAF and was safe at home but lost many a friend and fellow student who died during the conflict.

I’ve worked for a number of horrible bosses who acted like kings and who tried to get me to compromise my principals and cheat my customers. Each time I resisted they found ways to punish me. in the end my resisting them cost me my career and financial stability.

I lived through the events of 9/11 where many a friend and customer were negatively affected or died during those events. I was in NY that morning and will never forget the horror of that day.

I was horrified over the killing of George Floyd as well as other innocent blacks and the Black Lives Matter movement where peaceful protesters were treated so poorly.

I’ve been betrayed by friends, family and customers whom I have loved and supported.

But what I’ve seen just in these last few months makes me finally feel like I’ve seen too much. whether it be ICE raids on innocent people just because of how they look or how they speak, the effects of the DOGE cuts, retributions, the roll-back of rights for women, minorities, native Americans, LGBTQ people, the abuse of power, the weaponization of the courts and the military as well as the national guard against our own citizens, the apparent move towards a dictatorial form of government, the ending of Environmental protections, and much, much more, it’s simply too much to bear and i need to call it out.

In my lifetime I’ve been friends and classmates with people of every race, religion, sexual preference, nationality and political persuasion. I’ve seen good in every one of them.

Sure there are bad apples in every case but in the end we are all equal and deserving of the life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness and we do not need a KING to tell us otherwise.

Thanks for checking in and be good to one another.

Mahalo, Paul

A great deal has changed since my last post in 2017. Our country has seen the changes in it’s leadership, there has been an insurrection and we have become more divided as a nation. this has spurred me to try and do my little part to spread positive messages via any platform available to me. I believe there is a need for storytelling that lifts ones spirit as there is so much negative dialog in the world especially on social networks. One thing I haven’t changed is that even though it may hurt my being able to attract a larger audience I choose not to be on any platforms other that this one.

From a personal standpoint, over the past several years I’ve combated prostate cancer and had a number of other operations which thankfully I am recovering from. I’ve decided to finally give up surfing after sixty wonderful years of doing so. Yes it’s partially due to age and illnesses but sadly mostly due to the degradation of our oceans as I seemingly get ill after most sessions.

Several years ago I self-published via Amazon Kindle, my personal story “Chicken of The Sea, The Golden Years”, a follow up to my original personal story “Chicken of the Sea”. It’s about how, despite ones advancing in age that you can overcome it’s affects as well as other obstacles one can thrive and realize their full potential.

I plan to author at least one blog per week and hopefully those stories will be both thought provoking, informative, uplifting and enjoyable.

Thanks for checking in and I would love any feedback you have.

mahalo, Paul

At the time it seemed like a good thing to do. Our youngest daughter was attending college in NY at one of the first colleges to have Facebook and told us about it. It took me several years to jump on the bandwagon but I figured “what the heck” it seemed like a good way to connect with current friends and reconnect with old friends, relatives and long lost classmates.

At first I was pretty pleased with it. I did reconnect (to a degree) with all of the above and for a while the site was pretty easy to use and keep up with others. Unfortunately, along the way the shine wore off. There were more and more adds filtered in with the content. I could tell they were tapping into my buying habits and wants as the minute I checked into something in the internet my adds seemed to mimic it.

Over time, I saw less and less content from various friends and more and more adds. It also seemed like friends content popped up randomly at first then later on I would only get those from a chosen few.

I also never saw the purpose of all of the likes and loves because without associated comment I never knew exactly what they thought about what I said, and believe me I never posted unless I felt I had something to say.

I also felt compelled to comment or like anything I saw from a friend unless it was offensive which in retrospect made no sense. I also didn’t, like I heard a lot of people did, base my self worth on how many likes I received.

So sure it was nice to read about and see things that friends were doing but as I said before, if they really aren’t in your life it seemed a bit voyeuristic. I also at times had to wonder if their lives were really that great, their problems really that bad or their children so perfect. It tends to give one an inferiority complex when your life in no way matches up to it.

The one thing however that really turned me off to it was when somewhere along the line, seemingly before and after the election, that it became so negative and mean spirited. I never ditch a friend because we don’t agree on things and I try my best to be open minded but it was really troubling to read posts from friends that were so cutting and downright loathsome that it made me wonder if I ever really knew them at all. Many friendships were lost during that period which would make on wonder if they were ever really friends in the first place. Remember when people tried to work through their problems and disagreements?

The last thing that pushed me over the edge was when FB started to inundate my emails with prompts to see what this person or that person was doing and informed me about how much I had missed since my last visit to the site. It seemed like mind control to me.

So several weeks ago I shut down my site on FB as well as all other social media sites I was on and you know what I don’t miss them at all. My idea of a real relationship is to call someone or get together and as they did in the old days write a letter. Sure there are some folks I miss seeing what they are up to but if we didn’t have much of a relationship before social media then what difference does it make.

I had wondered how many people who I was friends with on FB that had my other contact information would check in on me to see what was going on but sadly only one has done so thus far. It was my cousin who emailed me to see if I was mad with him and unfriended him. After I assured him I didn’t he has since agreed with my decision and shut down his site.

For a long time I thought we were being manipulated by the social networks like Pavlov’s dogs (or was it rats?) and this week when one of the founders of FB came out to say we were I wasn’t a bit surprised.

So sure I’m disconnected from social media but it’s better than being disconnected with reality and life.

Thanks for checking in this week and I hope you have a great holiday season and happy new year.

Aloha, Paul

I generally am one who rolls with the punches, and believe me I’ve taken more than a few, but for some reason Hurricane Irma got to me, I mean she really got to me.

About a month before the hurricane I noticed that our huge pin oak that sits in front of the house was cracked down the middle most likely from an earlier storm. I tried to get someone out before the storm to look at it but no one could get there before hand. I was worried that it might fall during the storm so I trimmed as much of the branches off of it that I could reach and then fretted most of the night that my efforts might not be enough.

Fortunately, by the grace of God it didn’t fall and damage either our home or the one next door. We were also fortunate that the flood waters in our neighborhood stopped rising a mere five feet from the front of our home.

A further inspection of our home though showed some roof damage which made me worry that it might need replacement which would force us to eat the astronomical hurricane deductible that homeowners policies in the state carry.

I was relieved to find out that we wouldn’t need to replace the entire roof but only the shingles on the two hips on the back of our home and that our tree could be saved by cutting it way back. At any rate I was still bummed that we would be having to lay out money that we were saving so I could finally get my old car fixed up.

The kicker for me was that in the midst of all of this our air conditioning system finally failed and had to be replaced which left me both numb and feeling sorry for myself. Normally a good surf session helps me to put things back in perspective but before and since the storm we have been living through one nor’easter after another and between the filthy water and blown out conditions sessions have been few and far between.

So after the bad news about the a/c I was really bummed and didn’t really want to do anything. Fortunately Kathy convinced me to get out of the house and drive down to St. Augustine for lunch.

On the way there we drove through South Ponte Vedra and Valano Beach on A1A. The drive was a sad one as we passed home after home that were either damaged or completely destroyed by the hurricane, some of which were now lying on the beach.

Seeing such devastation and remembering seeing on TV the damage in Texas, Puerto Rico and throughout our own state helped me to put things back in perspective. So many people have lost so much and suffered so greatly and I felt bad about getting so despondent over our situation that, while difficult and costly, pales in comparison with the pain, suffering and loss experienced by so many others.

Bottom line, we will weather our own personal storm and hopefully the next time a storm comes our way I will be blessed with enough faith to keep things in perspective. As they say shit happens and often at the most in-opportune times. All we can do is deal with it as best we can and try to keep things in perspective.

Thanks for checking in this week and I hope you survived the storms well.

Aloha, Paul

I work at a surf shop and during the day we show surf video’s. There was one recently where they showed a guy who had lost a leg and who’s hip was badly deformed surfing on his one good knee. When asked about how he felt about surfing that way in large surf he responded by saying, “I was very intimidated out there but you’ll never know what you can or can’t do if you never try and in the end it was fun”.

Those words were both absolutely spot on and hit a chord in me. With all of the tropical storms that have hit our area within the last month we have received some pretty intense swells that offered large, steep and hollow shore breaks. To say it was intimidating to throw my aging body down into those beast would be an understatement. On a few days it seemed as though the success rate of actually making the drop and out onto the shoulder was about 30% for most of us mortals out there.

Certainly I took my share of poundings but somehow I convinced myself to keep going for it. There was this hope that the smaller waves would be easier to navigate but unfortunately it was generally the bigger sets waves that were steep enough to catch. Thus the dilemma. Do I let them pass me by or at least give them a go.

In such situations I have found that you can’t half go for a wave. You have to fully commit and have faith in your ability or either miss the wave or possibly take an even worse beating. As the guy in the video said, you won’t know what you can accomplish unless you try.

This came true for me when one of the biggest waves of the session approached. It was big, steep and I knew I would have to drop in just under the lip and possibly get hammered. I decided to go for it anyway. Somehow I managed to make the drop and cut right just ahead of the crashing lip whereupon I got fully barreled. The speed took me back out onto the shoulder and headed for another barrel. Two barrel rides, at least for me, are a very rare phenomenon and I couldn’t wait to enter it.

As I entered it from the backside it gave every indication that it would hold up so I charged into it frothing at the mouth. Unfortunately, about half way through it collapsed and I got rolled pretty good.

Sure I got my butt handed to me but in no way did it take away from the thrill I experienced during that ride and the feeling afterwards of the accomplishment. Sure my old body hurt for days afterwards but it was battle wounds that I’ll gladly deal with for the sake of a good session.

Bottom line, I never would have had such a great thrill if I had backed away from that wave and in truth, in looking back at my life, it was after taking leaps of faith and going for things that were either scary or difficult that I was able to find the best success or at the very least learn from.

Sure there have been too many times during my life to count where I was not successful in either life, endeavors  or surfing but winning and financial success, I do not believe, are the best measures of a successful life. Instead, I believe it is all about the journey, getting out of our comfort zone, doing our best, enjoying what we do and the process and of trying to make the world and ourselves a better place that should be the measure of ones life.

Thanks for checking in this week and I hope you have been kept safe from the storms and going for it in your own lives.

Aloha, Paul

Hurricanes are an interesting phenomenon especially to a surfer. On the one hand the thought of one coming in ones direction can create a sense of excitement and on the other a sense of fear and angst. They can send perfect overhead swells your way or beat you down to a pulp if they get too treacherous.

I have surfed my fair share of them with mixed results. In the early 90’s I surfed 10-15′ surf off of cape Hatteras and caught several of the most exhilarating rides of my life but also almost bought the farm on one wicked wipeout.

Since moving to the Jacksonville area in 2005 I have mostly experienced hurricane swells that came from tropical storms that stayed well off of our coast and left the area with solid overhead swells and off shore winds that made the conditions, though at times somewhat terrifying, mostly manageable and very enjoyable.

Years of such luck with hurricanes can leave one somewhat jaded in thinking that is the way it will always be. Unfortunately, as we found with both Mathew and Irma, that’s not the way mother nature works. Sooner or later you are going to get burned.

When I was young and growing up on Long Island, we were hit with some pretty disastrous storms. back in those days I don’t remember any sort of evacuation orders and you pretty much just rode it out and hoped for the best

As we lived on a canal I remember watching the water creep closer and closer to the house and our losing trees but as a kid I don’t remember being overly frightened by them. I suppose as we get older though we tend to become more and more concerned over such things.

For some reason I wasn’t that much concerned about Irma before it hit, to the point that my wife and daughter got on me about not having enough concern. But once it hit it seemed to take me to my knees psychologically. I guess severe and life and death circumstances tend to take something from us even though in some ways they do give us strength.

Our area of Jacksonville has not had an ounce of flooding since we moved here. There are no rivers or streams near us with only small retention ponds in the neighborhood. But Irma was different. We woke up to flooded streets throughout the neighborhood and the water finally stopped rising a mere 5 feet from our front door. Other than that we were pretty lucky in only losing some shingles on our roof , a loss of power for a day and a half and a big oak in the front yard that split but miraculously did not fall down.

So why was a I so unnerved by it all? I’m not sure. Maybe it was because the storm seemed to take forever to get here, the hype created by the media, the fact that it was going to move further away but didn’t or who knows what.

Bottom line, between the devastation caused by Harvey, Mathew, and Irma, I would be happy going without a good tropical swell if it meant people could be safe and not suffer from the effects of them.

One aspect of the aftermath of the storms that was very encouraging was the way people quickly pitched in to help neighbors as well as people the didn’t even know. It was refreshing to get a reprieve from all of the political, religious and ethnic tensions we have seen of late. People were seen helping others that they might not have either liked, agreed with or had a desire to even know before hand.

Our neighborhood is a very diverse one and people get along pretty well but for the most part people tend to keep to themselves. After the storm settled down a bit and everyone went out to check the streets and yards it was like a love fest. People were helping others and it was great.

My hope is that we can all hold onto those feelings of togetherness after the fact and remember that in the end we are all a brotherhood of man and here to lighten each other load and love one another despite our differences. If that is the case then if it takes an Irma or a Harvey to bring us to that end then I suppose it wasn’t a total loss after all.

Thanks for checking in this week and I pray this blog finds you safe and sound and out of harms way.

Aloha,

Paul

I’m sure you’ve seen the TV ads for ancestry.com where the people talk about how they thought they were one nationality but after having their heritage researched came to find out they were really another one or two altogether.

Watching those adds always made me wonder how so many people seemingly had no clue as to their family’s historical background/nationality. Was it that their family never talked about their history or passed down the family stories or history or were they in fact too ashamed of who they are, what happened or where they were from.

As I have come to find out over time I didn’t have to look further than my own family tree to get a hint of the truth of the matter.

Since as long as can remember my father drilled into we kids the supposed fact that our ancestors on his side came from England. As proof, he showed us a framed document from some heritage research group that not only said we were English but also that we were related to the Earl of Hayden and had noble blood in us.

Also framed was the supposed family crest and family credo of “Herm En Foy” (Firm in Faith).

As sort of the family black sheep, I didn’t inherit much from my parents but as the “man” in the family I was given that framed crest and letter which until recently I hung on the wall of our home.

I say until recently because my older sister recently did a dna analysis and found out we aren’t English at all but instead of Irish descent. It burns me to think of all of the St Patrick’s day celebrations and parties I missed out of because of it. Not that there was any harm in being English but heck, you are what you are.

From what my sister found out, our ancestors were not only Irish but supposedly of a lower class who toiled making buttons which from what she was told was the lowest class of workers way back when.

And the con by our parents didn’t stop there. Once, as children, we were drive out into the Pennsylvania countryside to the town of Birchrunsville and shown what was supposedly the family’s palatial estate where pictures were taken so we could all develop tham and frame a copy to hang on our walls proudly.

We were told that out grandfather who died long before we were born had owned the estate and that he was a prominent Philadelphia attorney. We later found the family never owned the estate and that our grandfather was actually a constable in that city and not an attorney.

These are only a few of the tales we were told not to mention the things we weren’t told about the family that were later discovered.

To me it’s both sad and disturbing that so many families like ours were deprived of knowing their actual heritage and family history due most likely to either embarrassment or shame.

In truth, most, if not all families, have some warts in their family history and in a way that’s only natural and makes for great story telling. As a writer I understand that not too many people want to read a novel where all of the characters have no flaws. The world simply isn’t like that and it certainly doesn’t make for good reading.

It’s also sad that children like me and my sisters were finally left wondering what to believe about our family and it’s history. That fact of the matter is, especially in this day and age with technology, the truth will come out sooner or later so why hide it in the first place.

Bottom line, we are who and what we are with all of our flaws and warts as well as our gifts and blessings and that’s ok and nothing to be ashamed of. So embrace it all and don’t feel the need to be ashamed or embarrassed by who and what you are, where you came from or what dark history lurks down in your family tree and you will most likely be a lot happier.

As for me, You’ll certainly see me wearing the green next St. Patties day.

In the interim have a great week and I hope to see you here again soon.

P.S. Sorry I haven’t blogged in a while but I needed to take a break from it and recharge my batteries so to speak.

Thanks.

Aloha, Paul