This is a site of uplifting and thought provoking posts

I hate to admit it but I grew up in a home environment with parents who were somewhat uppity and very judgmental of others. They used terms like “they’re not our kind” and made disparaging comments about those of certain races and creeds.

This kind of attitude was very confusing for me. Growing up on Long Island and going to public schools I was exposed to people of all races, backgrounds and creeds and I guess I was naïve to think that because of it everyone should be able to get along.

The other confusing part of my parents behavior was that neither of them came from particularly wealthy or privileged backgrounds and the only reason we had a really nice home and other trappings of wealth was because my parents lived well beyond their means. It was also very confusing to me that they still held onto those ideas and behaviors even after my father’s business went bankrupt and we lost most of the things we had.

Despite my resistance to embracing their ideas and beliefs, it was still difficult not to wonder at times or fully understand where all of the hatred and bigotry came from and how it felt to be the ones who people denigrated.

During the summer following my freshman year of college I found a job working on the docks in Long Island. One of the guys I worked with was a black man named Johnny. Johnny was a former football star at J.C. Smith University and a mountain of a man. He was also a great person. Johnny had an Irish wife and two beautiful children.

One day that summer of 1967 Johnny took me to the horse races in NYC. On the way we stopped off in his town of Amityville so he could check on things at his fish store. As he knew it would take him a while he asked me to hang out at a local bar.

At the time Amityville had a very large black population and it was during a time of civil unrest in the country. When I walked into the bar all went quiet and I saw everyone staring at me like I had two heads. I found I was the only white person in the place and most likely the only one who had ever stepped foot in the place.

At first I felt very uneasy and it struck me that this is how any minority must feel in a similar setting. After a bit of third degree questioning, a few beers and a bit of banter, however, I started to feel at home and very safe. After a while we even discussed race relations and they were very open and honest about how tough it was being a minority in this country.

They confided in me that they really respected Johnny but couldn’t understand why the local girls in the town weren’t good enough for Johnny so that he felt the need to marry a white woman. I knew Johnny well enough to know he married for love but I could certainly not argue with their logic.

That episode helped to clarify for me that we are all the same regardless of race, background, nationality or sexual persuasion and that we all want the same things in life and to be treated as equals.

I later became very interested in the freedom movement led by Martin Luther King. I had a black roommate for a while my sophomore year who led a protest at Belmont Abbey College where I attended that year and I saw how he was treated because of it. As a matter of fact my parents forced me to change room mates because of his color saying they would disown me if I didn’t. Although my room mate understood, I was both embarrassed and heartbroken over it.

We used to play a lot of card games in the suite so my later room mate taped the ace, king, queen, jack and ten of spades (royal flush) on the want. Later in the evening the day that Dr. Martin Luther King was assassinated I returned to my room to find the king of spades lying face down on the floor. Although it may have been a coincidence, to me it seemed  like it was God’s way of showing  us how saddened he was over this great man’s death.

What Dr. King, the constitution and the bible has tried to tell us is that we are all equal and  have the God given right to be treated as such. I hope Dr. King’s legacy lives on and we never forget as a nation what he and so many others have fought for. After all, that’s what our nation was supposed to be founded upon in the first place.

Thanks for checking in this week and I hope none of us ever give up the fight for the things we believe in and that we will always be open to a better idea and way of looking at things.

Aloha, Paul

As I enter my fifty second year as a surfer I came to consider all that the sport has meant to me and my life.

My first thought was of just how old I am. The second was of how blessed I am to still be enjoying it, especially in the manner I am still able to. I thankful to be able to still ride mostly short boards and in all of the conditions we are presented with here on the east coast.

To a certain degree I have always felt that surfing has saved my life or at the very least enriched it to a great extent. After nearly drowning as a child I didn’t for the longest time dare to even enter the ocean. On top of it all, coming from a very difficult home environment as a child, I also carried with me a very low self esteem and fear of so many things.

My first attempt at surfing, though meager at best, seemed to change something deep within me. I started to become more self assured, strong and self confident. Although the transformation did not happen overnight my continuing in the sport slowly and most definitely improved both my physical and emotional state of being.

It has been a bell weather presence in my life and has been a source of strength, joy and well being at the times in my life when I dearly needed those things.

Through the sport I have made great friends and relationships, been inspired to write and paint about the sport, been able to pass along the stoke of surfing to others through instruction, learned about the challenges our waves and oceans face and as such became compelled to act as an activist in their behalf and have even found employment within the industry.

Although I’ve never traveled extensively to surf, I have been blessed to have surfed the entire East Coast, The Gulf of Mexico, California and the Big Island of Hawaii and as such I do not in any way feel cheated.

While I’ve  had the opportunity to surf in waves to fifteen feet I’ve always been just as stoked to surf in two foot slop especially if it’s with my buddies. Sure it gets more difficult each year to surf in cold conditions but I’d rather be cold and not as agile as long as I’m in the medium.

I know for certain I would not try and stay in as good a shape if I didn’t surf, I certainly don’t think my mood would be as good if I didn’t and I do believe it keeps me feeling younger than if I didn’t.

As each year passes I understand I am getting closer and closer to the day when the wheels will fall off, per se, and I won’t be able to continue to surf. Somehow though I don’t think it will trouble me too much. After all, who can be sad if they were able to enjoy something so wonderful for so long. Besides, even if I can’t surf I’ll find some way to stay connected with the ocean and the sport.

I remember years ago when surfing at Virginia Beach seeing this older man who couldn’t surf anymore show up at the jetty. He had this very long board and was wearing what looked like foul weather gear. He would paddle out into the line up and just hang out there with the crew for a while then paddle in seemingly content. Now that’s a true love of the sport.

Thanks again for checking in and whether it’s surfing or some other thing you are involved with, never lose your stoke for it and be thankful for having it in your life.

Aloha, Paul

This morning while between lulls while surfing I reflected on the year just passed and the new one starting today.

Certainly this past year had it’s share of heartache, disappointments and struggles but looking at it from a glass half full perspective I came to realize it seemed to offer more than it’s share of positives.

While we were sad our daughter Ashley and her husband Damian moved out to the Seattle area this past spring, it also enabled me to spend some quality time with our daughter as we drove out west. Despite it being one of the most exhausting of trips as we made the journey in her Chevy Spark with her stuff and their English Bull Dog named Buji ,we were blessed to have good weather and have been able to enjoy the beauty of our country.

With any year comes a bit of family drama and sadness but while we endured our share of it we were also blessed with being able to reunite this fall with some family we have either never met  or hadn’t seen for a very long time.

Things were also a bit of a struggle financially but I was blessed to find a job teaching surfing and working at a surf shop, both of which I enjoy immensely. My wife Kathy and I also enjoyed a river cruise through Europe which was kind of a second honeymoon or really our first as we didn’t take one when we married. We also got to visit Hawaii this fall.

I was also blessed to be able to continue enjoying the wonderful sport of surfing (despite my aching and aging body), do volunteer work, paint and write.

We all had to suffer through a very contentious election that seemed to polarize many in our society but as with elections of the past I am hopeful we will somehow persevere as we have through past elections, hurricanes and other disasters that occurred this past year.

With all of this in mind, below is my wish list for the coming year.

• That the incoming administration will do right by the country by embracing all of our citizens and stand by the ideals of liberty and justice for all while protecting our national resources including the land and sea as well as the creatures who live within them.
• That families and friends who have been torn asunder by conflict and differences in ideologies will look to find common ground and healing.
• That we embrace and become more tolerant and accepting of others especially those that either don’t have the same religion, beliefs, national origin or sexual orientation that we do.
• That we share with others our gifts and talents through volunteering and mentoring.
• That businesses do right by their employees and customers by being fair in their practices.
• That we all do our little part to make this a better world.
• And of course that we have world peace.
• In addition, I hope the waves that roll upon your shore are tasty waves that bring you fun rides and refresh your soul.

Thanks for checking in this week. I wish you all a healthy and prosperous 2017 and will look forward to seeing you back here each week.

Aloha, Paul

About ten years ago while visiting my mom who at the time was living in Venice, Florida I attended a church in the town during my visit.

During the priest’s homily he said something that I’m sure hit a nerve with many of the parishioners who were largely retired snow birds. He said that since they were still alive, God had more of a plan for them than to just play golf or cards, travelling or watching TV all day (Or now updating our FB status). After he said it there was a great deal of shuffling in seats and embarrassed looks.

I’m sure it didn’t make him popular with many in attendance but it’s something we all need to hear from time to time and I’m not just talking about retirees. I do believe we are all here for a reason and are given certain gifts to share with the world. If that is so then it doesn’t seem right that we should squander those gifts.

At times we can become tired, depressed and left feeling like we don’t matter but the truth is we do. Our gifts and abilities may seem insignificant to us in the big scheme of things but in reality there is always something we can bring to the table.

I’m not just talking about those of us who are healthy and able but also those who may have an illness or disability. As long as we’re alive there are things we can do that can make a difference in another person’s life or in the world.

It can be something big or even as small as a kind word or even a simple smile. What the priest went on to tell us that day was that just because someone is retired or out of the workforce doesn’t mean they don’t have anything to offer the world. They have a vast experience in many things that they can bring to the table in all sorts of ways as a volunteer or mentor. As a matter of fact they now have the time to give of themselves that they might not have had while they were working or raising a family.

As for the younger folks, even though they are busy with school, raising a family or working, there is generally enough time to volunteer, learn a new hobby or sport and activity. They also bring with them an energy and new way of looking at the world that is very valuable.

I’ve seen too many people that are only focused on their careers and then when they retire that don’t know what to do with themselves. Many end up dying at a relatively young age not long after retiring because they don’t feel they have anything else to offer or have other interests.

Now I’m not suggesting people stay busy 24/7 and wear themselves out doing good deeds and using their gifts and talents but I do believe it’s healthy both mentally and physically for us to make good use of out time, gifts and talents and continue to make a positive impact on the world.

I’m trying my best to not let any moss grow on me, despite my increasingly advanced age, and I hope you try to do the same.

Thanks for checking in this week and I hope you have a great holiday season.

Aloha, Paul

There aren’t a lot of TV shows I follow religiously but I really like the new show “The Great Indoors”. If you haven’t watched it, it basically deals with the struggle between generations working together and understanding each other.

I often hear people in my age group talk about the Millennial’s and how they either don’t care enough, are too attached to their technological devices, don’t work hard enough, are lazy or whatever. Sorry fellow baby boomers and gen-exers but I don’t buy it.

Every generation is a bit different and are effected by not only technology but also world wars and happenings and differences in style and thought. I think that’s a good thing. The problem seems to be that every generation seems to think they have their act together and the others don’t.

Throughout history the older generation think the younger one is lazier, less focused and mature and doesn’t respect authority and on and on.

The younger generations tend to think the older ones are too stiff, out of touch, not happening and simply don’t get it.

As a baby boomer I thought my parents were too conservative, less open minded, out of touch and tied too much too the past.

Those in the “Great Generation” thought we kids were a bunch of hippie freak weirdo’s who were only concerned with sex, drugs and rock and roll and would never amount to anything. The truth is many of us were but we grew from it and cause a lot of positive change.

For those who get upset about the younger generation spending too much time on their devices, they need to remember that it was the baby boomers and gen-exers who developed and or the technology in the first place.

Does the direction in technology trouble me a bit? Sure it does, but we have somehow survived all of the other changes that have occurred over the years and we most likely will find a way to deal with these changes also. Hopefully this new technology and the ability to share data and learn new things will help us to do important things like cure sickness, end world hunger and clean up our environment and if so it will be the younger generations who help accomplish those things.

Bottom line, we learn from each other. Each generation, despite our flaws, brings something valuable to the table. Companies and societies that think older folks don’t have anything to offer are making a big mistake because those people bring with them a wealth of knowledge and experience. On the other hand, the younger folks bring with them a youthful energy and new ways of looking at things.

I’ve always enjoyed working with younger people because of those things and because of it I believe it’s helped me to keep an open mind and a willingness to learn and do new things. I think it has helped me in everything I do and the way I look at the world. As it is often said, when we stop learning we stop growing.

One thing is certain, at least for me, is that the battle of the generations makes for really good humor and TV. ( I think I just dated myself. I should have said streaming on my device).

Thanks for checking in again this week and I hope you have a safe and good one.

Aloha,  Paul

The holidays can be a tough time of year for many of us. Some may be alone with no family around. Others may be left saddened by the loss of a loved one. Some may be struggling with job loss, financial distress, feelings of disenfranchisement, separation or divorce, depression or substance abuse.

While those issues are difficult enough to deal with at any time, they are often all the more so during the holidays.

The holidays are times when families and loved ones, often even when there is strife within the family unit, gather together to celebrate and not being a part of it all only reminds us of our loneliness and separation from them.

This year my wife and I were anticipating being alone for thanksgiving and as such we found it difficult, at first, to get into the spirit of the holidays. We even considered for the first time to not even decorate for Christmas, a holiday we both truly love.

Family and friendship have always been so important to me and the thought of not being with family was a difficult thing to deal with.

When I get into such moods I try and reflect on the things I should be thankful for. I’m most fortunate to enjoy good health, I have a wife and daughter who love me, good friends, a roof over our heads, a great part-time job at a surf shop, I have creative outlets that give me joy like writing, art, surfing, volunteering and the ability to commune on a regular basis with nature.

We are also still reveling from a recent family reunion with love ones we have either not seen in years of never before. Those thoughts as well as at the last minute inviting a friend, and neighbor who is down on his luck this year, to Thanksgiving dinner has fully restored our holiday spirit.

Unfortunately there are many who’s burdens are so heavy and who’s suffering and loneliness are so deep to be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I believe the events of this year may have made it all the more difficult for many this year. We have all just lived through a highly contentious election that has left many in a state of fear or concern, there is a great deal of world strife and worries over terrorism and many are still struggling with job loss or lack of a solid income.

What I believe we all need right now, especially those who are struggling, is to know that there are those who care about us and our well being and to feel we are part of something bigger than ourselves.

When I was in the service, my wife and I would always invite some of my fellow airmen, who were alone for the holidays, to dinner for Christmas and Thanksgiving. I know how much it meant to them as well as how much it meant to us at times when we were alone and friends invited us to share in their family festivities.

There are many in our country who currently feel a sense of disenfranchisement due to either their ethnicity, religion or nationality. This is troubling as our nation is a great one due to our history of being a melting pot of a diverse group of people. We are also a great nation because of our generosity and spirit.

So this year more than ever let’s all be thankful for those things we have been blessed with and reunite with family, friends and loved ones  we have drifted away from, embrace those who may be different from us with a smile and a kind word. And, if you can, invite someone you know who is alone and struggling into your home. It can make a positive difference in their lives and yours.

So to answer the question what is there to be thankful for, plenty.

Thanks for checking in and I wish you and yours the happiest of Thanksgiving’s.

P.S. In case your looking for a cheap gift for a child for the holidays check out my Children’s book “Byron The Lonely Christmas Tree”.

Aloha, Paul

Families are often torn apart by many circumstances including war, parents who put children up for adoption, through natural disasters, divorce or by family dysfunction or abuse.

Regardless of the reason, children are often scattered to the wind, often lose track of their fellow siblings and relatives or are so traumatized by what had occurred in their lives that they chose to remain detached from their extended families and loved ones.

There may be the fear of finding out things that might be all the more disturbing, worries over whether or not they are even loved or wanted by those family members or by having to re-live some very devastating incidents that have been buried deep inside.

As such there is often an emptiness within many of those involved that comes from not having those connections and from the wondering of what became of those family members and of being torn over should I have tried to reconnect and if so then would I be happier if I did.

The truth is, most everyone loses when a family is torn asunder. Siblings who loved each other miss the opportunity to be with each other and share in each other lives, cousins, children, aunts, uncles, grandparents and other family members don’t have the benefit of knowing each other and sharing in each others lives.

In our families case it was family dysfunction and abuse that tore apart our family and sent us to our various corners. Though I was fortunate to continue to have contact with my two sisters, due to various factors those connections were loose at best and we weren’t able to fully partake in each others lives.

I also had two half-sisters, one whom I never have been able to be in the presence of and another who left our home fifty plus years ago and never returned.

The was able to connect with the one whom I’ve never seen some fifteen or so years ago. We corresponded by phone and by letter numerous times. It was great to reconnect but unfortunately once I pushed for a face-to-face meeting all correspondence ceased on her part. I suspect she was still dealing with too much pain and the thought of finding out more was simply too much for her to deal with.

It was partially for that reason that I never tried to track down my other half sister. As much as I wanted to re-connect and prayed every day that we sometime would, at the same time I figured that if what had happened to her was so devastating that she needed her space then I didn’t feel right about possibly hurting her further if I did.

In my novels my character was torn with the same dilemma but as he was braver than me he finally sought out his sibling.

They say though that God works in mysterious ways and it was actually through my books that my brave niece  was able to find me and help me and my sister to reconnect with my long lost half-sister. Had I not written my personal story “Chicken of The Sea” and my novel “The Nonconformist” she might not have been able to do so.

This past weekend my wife, my sister and I were finally able to enjoy a reunion with our half sister along her wonder daughter and grandchildren (our niece and grand niece and nephew) on the Gulf Coast.

For me, the reunion was sheer joy and an absolute blessing and something I will hold onto for the remainder of my days. It was if time had stood still (except for the aging part) and we seemed to pick up where we left off. Sure there were tough subjects and revelations that were dealt with but through the dealing with those issues came a great deal of healing, laughter and good times.

I am confident our reunion will help put to rest a difficult chapter in many of our lives and will represent the start of a new and joyous chapter for our combined families but even if I could only have this one glorious reunion with my family then I will know I am truly blessed and better for having it.

Thanks for checking in this week. I hope all is well with you and yours and continue to cherish family, friends loved ones and all of God’s creatures.

Somehow I went the entire week without crying (trying to be brave for everyone) but I am now.

Aloha, Paul

Let me start off by saying my blog post today isn’t going to be one that espouses or condemns any candidate. There’s enough of that going around already and I’m not sure at this point that I could change anyone’s mind anyway.

I’ve seen newscasts that indicate people are all stressed out over the election and are even losing sleep over it. From all of the dialog I have heard, the negative posts I’ve seen on facebook and based on the barrage of political adds out there I suppose it’s true and to a certain degree understandable.

Somehow many have seemed to have lost all objectivity as well as the ability to compromise and accept others views and ideas. Certainly I have my own views and opinions on the subject and am passionate over the issues that matter to me but thankfully not to the point where I feel the need to reject others views and opinions or unfriend them.

I’ve seen and heard too often people unfriending people over their differing views and it’s sad. If we have a “true” friend whom we like for so many reasons it just doesn’t make sense to me to cast off their friendship just because they have differing political views.

I remember in college sitting around with friends (yes I can still remember back that far) over some beers or other stimulants debating the issues of the day along with the meaning of life and somehow after all of the debating we walked away still friends. That’s the way it should be and I hope we don’t or haven’t lost that ability.

It’s those differing views that after all make a country or world great and lead to positive change. If we all thought the same way then the world would be a pretty boring place.

Bottom line, after the election, regardless of who wins or loses, the sun will come up, people will go to work and school and life will continue. I also believe in our system of checks and balances in government and am certain if we do elect a president that is not fit to serve then that system will deal with it properly.

We’ve had tons of elections in the past and in most cases those elections have been close meaning around 50% of the population was disappointed in the outcome. Somehow, despite that we’ve managed to survive and prosper as a nation. Just think how much better shape we’d be in though if we could add a lot more compromise to the equation.

So let’s all take a deep breath, keep things in perspective and decompress. After all, the good news is that in less than a week there won’t be any more political attack adds bombarding us ( well, at least for a while).

Thanks for checking in and unless we all go bonkers after the election I’ll look forward to seeing you back here again next week.

Aloha, Paul

We all have dreams and things we would like to do, become and/or accomplish. Some are simply pipe dreams that it would be cool to achieve but in reality they are simply that, just pipe dreams that we either aren’t that intent on achieving or don’t really think we could achieve.

There are those dreams however that have burned within us since as long as we can remember which until we achieve them we never seem to be settled or satisfied.

There are those, just like the character in my novel, Jon Lewis who have great dreams but give them up for another. While noble in concept, in reality giving up on them ultimately helps lead to his undoing until a near death crisis forces him to come to terms with his life and he realizes he gave up too much of himself while trying so hard to desperately please others and gain their approval.

When I teach surfing to students there is always that crossroads they meet where they know they desperately want to master the sport and ride bigger waves and ride waves better but find themselves afraid to commit out of fear.

I always tell them they will never conquer the wave until they overcome their fears and go for it with all that’s in them.

I look at surfing the same way I look at life and dreams. Like many things it’s all a leap of faith mixed in with a degree of self confidence knowing you have the talent, ability  and desire to accomplish the thing you’ve dreamed about doing.

For the past five years I’ve been working on a screenplay based on my novel “The Nonconformist”. To date I still have yet to get it accepted by a producer but I keep working on refining it, looking for input and talking with people who I believe can help me accomplish my dream.

Sure it’s been a lengthy and at times frustrating process but it still has a life, I believe in the project and it’s value and potential and want to accomplish my dream of seeing it in film very, very much.

I believe down deep that if I keep pursuing my dream that it will eventually happen. I have to because if I don’t believe in it enough then how can anyone else.

In the end, however, I know this won’t guarantee success but that’s all-right as long as I know I never gave up on my dream (which I won’t until there’s no one left who will listen to me) and that I went for it with all that was in me.

So if there’s something you really want to achieve, no matter where you are in your life, go for it like it’s double overhead pipe and you want to get barreled in the worst way. Once you’re there the feeling is going to be so sweet.

Thanks for checking in this week. I hope this post finds you well and I’ll look forward to seeing you again next week.

Aloha, Paul

I just returned home from a ten day trip to the “Big Island” of Hawaii with my wife Kathy. We had an awesome time there and although there wasn’t a lot of surf I still had fun boogie boarding, shelling, touring around (watching the surfing channel which we don’t have at home) and just relaxing.

Travelling someplace like Hawaii is great but at the same time getting home is super also. I like where we live, my job at the surf shop, our friends, the beaches and the things I’m involved with here in Jacksonville.

During my time spent in industry  I was always on the road travelling for business and moving around the country for job changes. I figure I averaged over 60,000 miles per year travelling for business and on average out of the office about 100 days per year.

As such, I suspect it’s the reason why I’m pretty content to mostly hang out locally. Moving around has also made it difficult to be close to family and friends and to put down permanent roots. We’ve now been here in Jacksonville for eleven years which is the longest we’ve ever lived anywhere and I’m very content on staying here indefinitely.

Thinking about this all recently I sat down and penned the following poem aptly entitled “Roots”. I believe it sums up my feelings pretty well and I hope you enjoy it.

I wish I had roots like a tall oak tree that could hold me to one place

But unfortunately my roots have been shallow ones so I’ve been blown from place to place

The oak doesn’t have to worry about finding it’s way home

Because unlike me the oak has never had to roam

The oak doesn’t have to make new friends because they’re already there

And it’s never been an outsider because it was born and stayed right there

The oak is always near it’s family because it’s acorns fall nearby

And unlike me it doesn’t have to travel to be by loved ones side

Spring, summer, winter, fall it knows where it will be

So give me roots like the tall oak tree so I can be like thee

Thanks for checking in this week and I pray this blog post finds you and yours safe and sound post Matthew.

Aloha, Paul