This is a site of uplifting and thought provoking posts

I’m sure we all know that someone who seems to light up a room when they come in and instantly garners the attention of everyone present. Heck, you may be fortunate enough to be one of those people.

Whether it be at a party, workplace or family gathering, there are always those who afterwards you weren’t sure if they were there and those that you were certain were and who you couldn’t wait to be around and hated to see leave.

Conversely, if they were absent from the event you felt sorry that they weren’t there. Somehow, certain people seem to inherently have the ability to put people at easy, make you happy and uplift your spirits. They also carry an aura of happiness, contentment and childhood exuberance that is infectious.

I believe that the Marlin’s pitcher Jose Fernandez who’s life was tragically cut short this week in a boating accident was such a person. As a Mets fan I hated it when Jose took the mound against us because he generally shut us down but somehow I could not dislike the guy.

I loved the way he seemed to be in everyone’s face in the dugout either joking with them or simply chatting. He wasn’t just there in body even when he wasn’t pitching but instead was there in spirit rooting on his teammates and giving encouragement. Bottom line, you could tell he loved the game, the fans and his teammates and his spirit was infectious.

You could tell from the genuine emotion and sentiments that were shared by not only his teammates but all of baseball and the community, that his presence in their lives was genuinely felt and his absence sorely missed and that he had impacted lives in a very positive and special way.

I know we all can’t be that person. We are after all different in many ways. But in the end I think it would be safe to say that we would at least want to impact each others lives in a similar  way.

So rest in peace Jose and pray we can learn something from your life and legacy.

Thanks for checking in and I pray you have a safe and happy week.

Aloha, Paul

For the past three weeks my wife was away helping her mother recuperate from a recent heart operation. During that time I had the house to myself and more than enough “alone  and quiet time”.

Between work, surfing, house fix-ups, writing and some art projects I kept pretty busy but in the end I still had plenty of time to chill and just think. Believe me, I don’t mind my quiet time but too much of it can still be quite unnerving especially for someone who, though never diagnosed for it, has been told by many over the years that he must suffer from ADHD.

There were times before I came to terms with some of my stuff that I could barely stand quiet moments and time. It seemed like whenever I did stop to chill and think that I couldn’t shut down my brain and obsessed endlessly about so many things, many of which  I now realize were very trivial, that I would end up stressing out over and nearly driving myself nuts from.

I was so bad at times that one of my co-workers once sat me down one day and said, “Don’t think Paul, you only weaken the team.

What he was really trying to tell me, I believe, was that I tended to overthink things and that if I just trusted in my judgement that I would be much better off. The advice was good and once I thought about it some more I realized most of the things I stressed over I either had no control over or possibly couldn’t change even if I did so why trouble myself over them.

Once I got that notion in my head things started to improve for me and I started t enjoy my alone and quiet time. It also changed my thought pattern into a more positive and productive one.

Truth be told, being inactive still isn’t an easy thing for me and certainly three weeks of me time is more than I could bear, but I survived and even learned in the process how to better enjoy the quiet moments I have.

Bottom line, it seems like people in general seem to be in too  much of a hurry and need constant stimulation and I can’t help to believe we would all be better off if we could learn to chill, give up some control and embrace quiet time more often.

Thanks for checking in this week. I hope this weeks post finds you well and thoroughly chilled out.

Aloha, Paul

I was in NY on 9/11 and heading into the city on business when the planes hit. As a New Yorker and  like so many others, I knew people in those buildings and the incident cut me to the core.

So many emotions filled me and as I tried to come to terms with them the following poem came to me that seemed to sum up those feeling. It is as follows:

They Cried on 9/11

So what were they thinking when they woke up that morning, the morning of 9/11? Did they know what the day would bring? Or did they go about their day as usual, get dressed, get the kids off to school, catch the train? Did they kiss their loved ones good-bye not knowing it would be for the last time? Did they know? Could they have known?

And the mothers cried and the fathers cried, they cried on 9/11

Did that bright sunny day offer any clues as to the horror that would be? When they boarded those planes could they have know they would be tested beyond belief? Or what of the firemen who answered the call, could they have envisioned their fate. It all could have changed if they had not gone in early but instead been a little bit late.

And the world cried, yes the world cried, we cried on 9/11

And what did they think when their mothers or fathers didn’t come home that day? Did they imagine the worst? Or did they keep up hope against hope they soon would arrive safe? Now how could they manage or even survive?

And the children cried, oh yes the children cried, they cried o 9/11

And what we they thinking when they laid out their plans, those delivers of evils unknown? Did they search their souls or have any regrets or were they simply too lost or too stoned? All of these things may remain unknown and that is probably good.

And the maker cried, you know the maker cried, he cried on 9/11

Thanks for checking in and lets hope we never forget and we continue to work for and pray for peace.

Aloha,Paul

In his inauguration speech John F. Kennedy recited a line that became famous when he said “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself”. At the time, it seemed the country was living in a state of fear regarding the cold war crisis. People were certain atomic bombs were going to be dropped by the Russians at any moment and they built bomb shelters and kids were taught how to hide under their desks at school.

In his address, the president was trying to remind people that you can’t let fear dictate how we live and that when we do so we will either act irrationally or freeze up and do nothing. As it turned out, those bombs were never dropped and those bomb shelters are now sitting empty and most likely deteriorating.

It seems like, from time to time when things in the world get a bit crazy, many of us become fearful and panic once again reigns. If you’ve seen political adds, many play up to these fears with slogans of “if so and so wins jobs will be lost, you and your kids won’t be safe and we need to separate ourselves from outsiders and folks not like us because they are bad. It just doesn’t seem to me to be a positive way for us to live.

One of my favorite movies is “What About Bob”. In the beginning Bob Wiley meets with his new psychologist Leo Marvin. After Bob outlines all of the things he’s afraid of, Leo asks, “So Bob what is it that you’re really afraid of”? In the end those things he said he was afraid of weren’t what he truly was afraid of after all.

I had a difficult time watching the movie at first because at differing periods in my life I had pretty much suffered from most of the things Bob described. It had gotten so bad at one point that I experienced anxiety attacks on almost a daily basis and could barely function. (more of this is in my personal story Chicken of The Sea)

When I finally got help I realized that most of the things that I thought were making me feel the way I did were not the real reason at all. The problem was I just couldn’t put my finger on it. In the end what I realized was that I was afraid of failing in my responsibilities to my family, being rejected and abandoned and also that I might be all of the negative things my parents said I was.

Like Bob, it took my getting to the “death therapy” stage, or in my case a severe burn out, to get a handle on things, change my way of thinking, improve my self image and worth and to stop being fearful so I could become healthy.

The other  day I surfed with my buddy Todd who is a relatively rookie surfer. The day was the biggest he had ever faced as a surfer and although he was, at first, terrified of paddling out, he overcame his fears and even paddled into the biggest wave of his life.

The experience was seemingly life changing for Todd and one that gave him a real lift and sense of accomplishment.

It reminded me of the time back in high school when I had to overcome my fear of drowning, after a near death experience earlier in my life, and paddle out into the surf for the first time.

Overcoming my fears that day was truly life altering for me and opened the door to a lifetime of fun and enjoyment out in the ocean. I believe that event was one of the things that gave me the confidence to overcome my other fears at various times in my life and I have to wonder what would have become of me if I hadn’t paddled out that day.

The other day I pulled up to a stop light and the car next to me had two young kids in the back with the windows down. The little girl smiled so I smiled back and waved. I then heard the mother tell the little girl to roll up her window so I couldn’t get her. The little girl said, “he can’t because my door is locked. The light then changed and they sped away.

I thought that was sad and it made me realize just how fearful some people are of strangers and things in general and I was left wondering “is this where we are headed as a society”? I can see being careful but shutting out people just doesn’t seem to me to be a good, healthy or enjoyable way to live.

So I suppose the question for us all is “What are we REALLY afraid of”?

Thanks for checking in, have a great week and I will look forward to seeing you back here again next week.

Aloha, Paul

This week I picked up my September issue of Eastern Surfing Magazine and was pleased to see they devoted nearly the entire issue to some of the environmental issues that effect our coasts and oceans.

One might think that it isn’t so unusual seeing as how the health of our oceans effect surfers and anglers but when you think about it further it truly was a courageous act for a large publication or any organization, for that matter, that has such a large readership or dependency on advertisers and followers.

Let’s put aside the fact that they presented their article in a very fair manner. The truth is, whenever you take a stand on such an important and controversial issue one always runs the risk of upsetting a good percentage of your readership, customers and advertisers and thusly also risking the loss of income from doing so.

I’m involved with the Surfrider Foundations Ocean Friendly Garden program and I am often challenged by people over the things I/we stand for, the principals we profess as well as the things I say relative to the environmental issues we are facing and how we can help alleviate them. The difference is that I don’t have a big corporate job I can lose due to what I say and do and it won’t hurt me financially.

When a publication, a company or an individual who works for a large corporation speaks out on a subject and takes a stand It’s a different matter altogether and I believe it shows even a greater degree of gumption as they do have a great deal to potentially lose.

Bottom line, I firmly believe that if you feel passionately about something, whether it be about the environment, equality, peace or whatever controversial issue you care about, then it’s important that you speak out and take a stand.

Sure it may cost you a friend or a position or some income but in the end how important are those things if in the end you don’t feel good about yourself or what you are doing. Just look at the life of Martin Luther King. he took a stand on equality. Sure it cost him all of those things including his life but in the end his legacy and death helped to change the world.

Thanks for checking in and I hope such actions like ESM took will lead you and others to take a stand on the things you believe in. have a great week and I look forward to seeing you back here again next week.

Aloha, Paul

I have heard that Granma Moses didn’t sell her first painting until she was in her eighties. She then became a super star in the artistic world. One can either look at this as it’s too bad she never achieved her fame and fortune earlier in life so she could have enjoyed the fruits of her success or that it’s great that she finally found her fame despite it coming so late in her life.

I have to admit that my timing hasn’t always been the best. I was a skinny kid when I went out for freshman football and didn’t grow into my body until me senior year when it was too late to try out again for the team.

I didn’t get into surfing until I was a junior in high school and by the time my senior year rolled around my buddies Ricky, Jimmy and Eddie were already members of the Bunger Team and I was just starting to find my form on a board. I didn’t start competing until well into my thirties and by that time any potential future as a pro competitor had long passed me by.

I didn’t start snowboarding until my late forties and although I became a professional instructor and was an expert boarder, any dreams of becoming an Olympian had long passed me by also.

I was  in my fifties when I wrote my first book, in my sixties when I wrote my first novel and just this past year when I wrote my first screenplay. I guess I was a little late on all of these things especially after finding out that the screen industry is looking for young screenwriters almost exclusively.

When the military draft was going on during Vietnam I had a very low draft number and as such ended up in the military service. If I had been born a day earlier I would have had a high number and as such been able to not have to leave my pregnant wife Kathy.

I suppose I could look at all of this as a bit of a disappointment but just like Grandma Moses I realize it’s better to have peaked late than to have either peaked too early of not at all.

I’ve known many people who have peaked too early in life and have lived in the world of “yeah I was a big deal way back when” and then end up feeling like it’s all over and with no sense of well being as to who and what they are now.

There are also those who didn’t achieve their goals and dreams earlier in life and feel like their time has passed for success or to realize their dreams.

So I’m a bit late in peaking. Big deal. I’m still able to surf and snowboard at a pretty high level, I learned a lot from my time in the service, who knows if my life would have been so great if I was able to become a pro surfer way back when and would I have been able to write or paint with as much passion as I do if I had started earlier and didn’t have the disappointments and life experiences that I’ve had.

What I’ve come to believe is that we sometimes peak at the right time despite how it may seem and that like Grandma Moses it’s a lot better to have peaked late than never. I’ve also come to believe that, until we take our last breath, we need to keep pursuing our dreams and passions as well as to use the gifts that God has endowed upon us so we leave the legacy we were destined to leave and to have no regrets.

Thanks again for checking in this week. I hope your week will be a great one, keep pursuing your passions and I will look forward to seeing you back here again next week.

Aloha,

Paul (aka Chicken of The Sea and The Nonconformist) (truth be told, my nickname in school was bird legs)

I can imagine the time the first potential surfer stared out into the ocean and said to him or her self, “I think if I go out into the woods and cut down a tree and carve a surfboard out of it then I can find a way to ride that wave.

I’m certain that person’s friends laughed their butts off over the surfers plan and told the surfer that even if they caught a wave  they most likely would die. Fortunately that didn’t deter the surfer who thought, “if we can ride an outrigger into the surf then why not a board that you could paddle”.

So then the day came and the surfer paddled out into the surf as everyone stood on the beach watching and waiting for the surfer to either fail or get washed up on the shore dead as a door nail.

I am fairly certain that the intrepid surfer ate it more than a few times to the delight of the onlookers but I can only imagine the sheer stoke and excitement the surfer felt and the absolute pandemonium that broke out on the beach as the surfer rode that first wave to the shore.

So began the sport that has captivated people like myself for the centuries following that day. As with that first ride, the only thing that has really changed about the sport are the boards (magic carpets) themselves and as each innovation came along there was that day when those on the beach hooted and howled  as they wondered how on earth someone could do what was being done on a surfboard.

I started surfing in he mid-sixties when the longboard was king and I remember how stoked I was when I saw someone riding a shortboard for the first time or saw someone surfing Waimea Bay . I also remember the first time I saw someone at Steamer Lane, when I was out there, pull off a 360 and true aerial. To that point I didn’t believe something like that could be done outside a skate or terrain park. And don’t even get me started on tow in surfing.

I’ve certainly never ridden on a magic carpet but based how it looked in “Alladin” I could tell it must be the freest form of transportation one could ever experience. Floating on air at speed has got to be the coolest.

Since I can’t ride a magic carpet the closest feeling to it that I could imagine is riding a board on a wave. I’ve been doing so for over fifty years now and I am still blown away to this day that I can ride a wave. Certainly there are days where I certainly don’t feel like I’m riding a magic carpet. But on those days where the conditions are right and I’m in the zone and working my way along the beautiful face of the wave, I truly feel like I’m on a magic carpet ride of the ultimate degree.

During my life I’ve skied, snowboarded and skateboarded and while all of those sports offer some of the same feel as surfing, for me they only offer a glimmer of that magic carpet ride feel. Certainly snowboarding in waist deep powder comes the closest but when you consider those things are performed on a surface that is fixed, they can’t touch something like surfing that is performed on a moving object that not only changes every day but also on every wave.

I feel most fortunate to have been able to enjoy the magic carpet ride for so long and to be able to share that feeling with every friend I’ve had the pleasure of surfing with or taught the sport to and  I hope we all help preserve our oceans so that, who knows how many centuries from now that it occurs, some surfer will do something that will have everyone on the beach hooting their lungs out and wanting to jump into the ocean and try it.

Thanks for checking in again this week. I pray you have a good one and I will look forward to seeing you back here again next week.

Aloha, Paul

Recently my wife and I were having a conversation with an extended family relative about the TV show “Scorpion”. My wife commented that I have a IQ that is similar to the characters on the show. ( It may be hard to believe but it’s true. My mom, as well as for some reason almost every company I worked for, had me tested).

To our utter surprise the response was, “well if you’re so smart then why haven’t you done anything with your life”?

What can you say to someone that says such a thing? First of all we thought that person felt differently about me and secondly they’ve been around me enough to hopefully know better. The truth is all I could say was, “wow!, I didn’t know you felt that way”.

There was a part of me that wanted to list all of my accomplishments but I didn’t because generally when someone feels that way about you there is nothing you can do to change their minds. Besides, a person really shouldn’t have to defend themselves no matter what they do or have done as long as they feel good about themselves.

For some reason society tends to often judge people based on they social status, financial condition, celebrity status, popularity, conformity to their norms or the profession they are involved in.

It’s a shame because what we should be judged on is the type of person we are, how we treat others, our contribution to society as a whole and how we go about our lives.

Some of the best people I know or have seen are ones with little in the way of money or position. They are the teachers, the caregivers, the starving artists, the ones who always have a smile and a wave for everyone they meet even though they might be struggling themselves.

The point is to feel good about yourself and whatever you do and never feel like you have to justify yourself to anyone as long as you do. For some reason some people only feel better when they are putting someone down or feeling like they are better than someone else and we shouldn’t care what those people think.

There was a time in my life when I would have let such a comment bring me down and tried to justify myself but not any longer. I know my strengths and weaknesses and despite my shortcomings I feel good about me as well as what I’ve done and accomplished.

So keep being the unique individual you are and no matter what your status is in the world feel good about who you are and never feel like you have to apologize for it.

Thanks for checking in again this week, stay cool and safe(damn it’s been hot this summer) pray for surf and I will look forward to seeing you again here next week.

Aloha, Paul

There are sounds all around to be heard but to the silent surfer it is a quiet world filled largely  with only the sights, feelings and the pulse of the surf. For any first time surfer and most assuredly to a hearing impaired newbie the sight of a substantial approaching wave generally brings with it a great deal of angst.

Undeterred, however, when given the sign to paddle for the wave by their instructor and interpreter the silent surfer suppresses their fears and strokes into their first wave. Some stand and ride and others simply hold onto the rail and ride in prone as I did on my first wave and relish in the feeling of speed, excitement and exhilaration that comes in the process.

Generally, though, with each successive attempt the surfers gain more confidence and after some additional coaching are riding into the beach to the cheers and thumbs up from all in attendance.

One thing that is a constant with all surfers, and as I’ve witnessed  from my involvement with Silent Surfer events as well as those for the Wounded Warriors, Life Rolls on and Surfers with Autism, is that from such unexpected accomplishments comes a smile that could light up a room and an increased sense of self.

This week, via the efforts of the Florida Surfing Association and an un-believably dedicated group of volunteers another Silent Surfer event was held at Jacksonville Beach for students of the Florida School for the Deaf and Blind as well as for any hearing impaired child who was interested.

Prior to the holding of the first such event some handful of years ago, I was asked to visit the school to talk with the students and teachers about the event.  I had naively figured the students were all stoked over it. As such I was surprised to find they were, in fact, so intimidated by it that they were thinking about cancelling the event. It was only after assuring them they would be safe and that they most assuredly would enjoy it that they agreed.

The rest, as they say, is history. That event as well as all that have been conducted since have not only been well attended but the performances by the students have been exceptional to say the least.

It is often said, and I believe it to be so, that ones other senses make up for the ones we are challenged with. In the case of the silent surfers, though hearing impaired, they seem to have better concentration, feel and attentiveness that more than makes up for it.

At the end of each event, after the awards have been distributed, photo’s taken and lunches consumed, what never seems to leave all of the participants and volunteers is a huge smile that last all day and a stronger sense of self and our place in the world.

I know for sure it’s the feeling I leave with and I am certain it is felt all the more so  by every Silent Surfer as it’s one more challenge in life that they have overcome.

Thanks for checking in and remember to always have faith in yourself and follow your dreams.

Aloha, Paul

Recently my high school class celebrated it’s 50th (shit I’m old) reunion. As usual I was unfortunately unable to make it as I had other commitments. I really would have loved to have visited with my former classmates who I enjoyed those years with but to be honest, as it had been so many years since I had seen them I’m not sure I would recognize them or vice-versa.

One of our classmates named Brian has been very diligent in posting pictures of the town and posts about the music of the time and things we all would have remembered from that era. It was fun to see and read those things but…which brings me to my subject.

Especially during the political season, as well as with people of a certain age, there is the desire to want to return to “simpler times” and the “way things were”. That is a natural concept in that, especially when we were young, vital and without the pressures associated with work, families and aging, things to us were most likely pretty fun and exciting for us.

Sure I enjoy listening to the old sounds from time to time and reminiscing over childhood friends, relationships and events, yet at the same time I really don’t want to go back there. Although those things were great, at the same time I also remember I struggled through a lot of stuff and didn’t have my proverbial shit very well together.

During my life’s journey I believe I have grown quite a bit as a person and although I have had my share of disappointments, heartaches and set backs, at the same time I’ve also experienced a great many wonderful events and experiences like marriage, children, career(s) and  activities.

I honestly wouldn’t have changed any of those events as, I believe, they have made me a stronger and better person than I was back then or maybe even could have been at that time and place.

I love learning new things, listening to the music of the day and experiencing the new trends (although I will only go so far with technology).

Sure the world is a scary place at times and in truth these are difficult times, but at the same time society has always had it’s struggles, dictators, terrorists of one sort or another and somehow we have never as a society been able to overcome them all. Honestly, I’m not sure we ever will.

That said, there is no turning back the clock. As such, we need to make the most of today and do the best we can to make us a better self and do our little part to make the world a better place than before and to simply evolve.

Sure growing old bites but there has yet to be discovered a true fountain of youth, but as they say, just because you’re getting older doesn’t mean you have to act old so make the most of every day and simply evolve and grow.

Thanks for checking in again this week and I hope you make the most of your week by doing or learning something new. As for me, I’m actually taking a screen writing class this weekend as well as giving a presentation to a writers group and teaching surfing this week. I’m not dead yet so I may as well make the most of the journey I have left.

Aloha and take care,

Paul